Friday, October 20, 2006

Trick or Treat

Are you a fan of Halloween?

I'm not so much, I don't know why either.

I love candy, I love being able to pretend I'm someone else for a night...so you'd think I'd love Halloween, right? Maybe it's because I've worked the bar so many of those nights? Or mayeb it's because I like being me...or maybe it's really because all the costuems I really want to wear are very very naughty, and I'm too chicken shit to do it.

Maybe the appeal of dressing up as a Dominatrix has disappeared since I think I'd enjoy being submissive so much more.

Realistically, I think it's because I have no imagination when it comes to castumes and on Halloween I actually feel boring. I hate that feeling.

What do you think?

Posted by Sasha White at 3:01 PM 2 comments

Monday, October 16, 2006

Mine.

fessel_co_grYou are going to come to me. And when you reach my door you will find a blindfold hanging on the doorknob and the door open a crack. Enter the room, close the door behind you and put on the blindfold. Then wait there quietly for me.

I lead you into the center of the room. “Stand still,” I tell you. “You are my personal playground...and I want to play uninterrupted.”

My hand reaches out and I trail my fingers across your shoulders as I stroll around your body. I start to undress you at my leisure, stroking your muscles, nibbling on your ear, your neck. Pressing my body full length against yours. The feel of your heart pounding in your chest is strong under my hand as I scrape my nails lightly across your nipple.

You feel my breasts against your chest, my nipples hardening as they rub against the hair on your body as I sink to my knees and examine your cock. Looking at it, breathing on it, I touch it lightly, lick it and - no! I won't suck it now...that will be your reward for behaving...if you continue to do so.

It is time for you to work...I lead you over to the couch and sit down.

“On your knees,” I command.

I spread my thighs for you and tell you to get on your knees and use only your mouth to please me, no hands. Do you think you can do that? Do you think you can make me cum with only your lips and tongue? I hope you can...for your sake.

Once you have gotten me ready I am going to lay you down and straddle you. Slip that hard cock into my wetness and ride you until I cum. You may not come! Remember...you are MY playground.

If I feel you have behaved well I will reward you. What that reward is will be a surprise...one I know already you will enjoy. But if you misbehave…the punishment will be something I enjoy!

Posted by Sasha White at 7:32 PM 6 comments

Friday, October 13, 2006

Secret Thoughts

I've been thinking a lot lately. Too much, I believe. I'm very used to taking things as they are, and seeing things as they're shown to me. I often see beyond what is shown, and I think I've come to take that for granted. I also have just realised a huge truth about myself.

There have been so many times in the past that I've worried that I've done wrong, that I let myself down by giving up on love and going for the sexual relationships I've had. I realized that I often hurt myself by picking to be with men who wanted nothing more than sex from me, and then actually caring for them and doing the complete girly thing by thinking -deep down where I never even admitted it to myself - that maybe I could be the one to change them. Or that maybe the sexual chemistry meant he was "the one". Then I'd fall into the trap of thinking I was only good for sexual relationships, becasue those were all I was good at.

Three times in my life I've actually let myself believe I might've found Him. The one. Two of those times, I was the one to walk away. I was the one to let things go because the intensity of what I felt, so soon, scared me. The third time, the last time, he was the one to walk away. When he did, I worried that it was karmic payback for my not having faith in the first two.

Not one of these times was I ever in love. I've never let myself go that far. These are just the men that stick in my mind as reminders of times when I COULD HAVE had something, but I didn't let myself. Tonight I realized why I didn't actually open myself to them. It seems I am an all or nothing person in this department too.

You see, I've been talking with a friend. A friend who is ten years younger than me, but in the exact same place in her life as I was when I walked away from the first guy. And she's in the same sort of situation with a man right now. I see myself in her, and I see the path I chose so clearly, and I want to tell her to choose the other one.

At the same time as talking to her quite a bit lately, I've been debating the whole "get to know him even if there are no butterflies" thing. The fact that I've decided to try and back away from the stricly lovers type of relationships I've sadly, grown used to, and get to knwo the men I meet in hopes that a relationship will grow. And you know what? I realized that I don't like to get to know them without those butterflies in my tummy simply because, to me, the risk might not be worth the reward. By that I mean, I've realized why I have such a high wall around my heart. Because it is so soft, and so vulnerable.

It's not worth getting hurt if the payoff isn't going to be forever. Or if there is a chance the payoff might not be forever.

I've realised that I can not open up just a little, because opening up a little still opens me up to hurt. And if I keep things as just sexual, I can protect my heart.

The question is, should I protect my heart at the risk of my self esteem, because I do see that staying in strictly sexaul relationshiips is hurting me too. I'm starting to wonder if I'm capable of more...and that hurts too. So, is it better to opne and be hurt by another, or to know that the hurt you feel is caused by your own actions?

Posted by Sasha White at 12:35 AM 6 comments

Friday, October 06, 2006

Hi All!

So S.D is away...and I'm going to play!
LOL


To start off today I'm just going to introduce myself... I'm Sasha White, a friend of S.D's and a writer. You can see my latest single title book, BOUND, if you scroll down just a little. And if you want somethign to surf around a bit, check out my website at www.sashawhite.net. If you look through the BOOK section you'll find lots of excerpts to read. :)

It's Friday today, so I'm just saying Hi, but I'll be back with some fun stuff in a couple days!

Have a great weekend!

Posted by Sasha White at 9:29 AM 0 comments

SD must bid you all adieu...

But, never fear, 'tis only for a short while.

In the meantime, the intellectually stimulating, infinitely talented and delectably sexy
Sasha White will be governing my home for the next couple weeks and I have no doubt you'll enjoy her, I do. And Sasha, my sweet, thank you for not only house sitting for me, but for being a kick ass friend as well. You rock, sweetheart!

Well, I must go, it's almost time for me to take that
walk and I have a million things to do first.

'Til we meet again...

Posted by SD at 7:30 AM 0 comments